7 Heartfelt Letters to a Son Making Bad Choices
April Marcom
Communicating your concerns to a son who’s making poor choices can be a difficult task. Whether it’s long or short, handwritten or by email, it’s important to communicate in a positive, loving manner.
You’re far more likely to draw a negative response and far less likely to be successful when approaching a child at any age with aggression.[1]
Positive communication is important to parent-child relationships, and treating your son’s experiences with empathy and sensitivity will help him feel understood.[2]
Below, we have the list of letters to a son who’s making bad choices to help you express what you’re feeling. Feel free to mix and match messages or use them in whatever way best suits your needs.
You can also use our tips below the list to write your own letter or customize one from our list.
1.
My son,
I want to begin by expressing my eternal love for you, no matter what choices you make. It’s because of this love that I’m writing to you, hoping my words can help to guide you in these challenging times.
Life can be a rollercoaster with unexpected twists and turns, and it’s normal to make mistakes along the way. However, it’s vital to remember the consequences that come with our choices and to use caution when making them. The choices you make today are the foundation of your future.
Our mistakes don’t define us; they’re merely bumps in the road that can provide important lessons if we let them.
Life is a journey of discovery and learning, and it’s okay to stumble along the way. What matters is that we pick ourselves up, learn from these experiences, and use them to become wiser and stronger.
Take a moment to reflect on the path you’re on. Are these decisions going to help you become the person you want to be?
I’m not writing to lecture or judge you. Instead, I hope to offer support and encouragement as you face life’s challenges. You have the potential to overcome all things and create a future that’s full of promise.
Anytime you’re struggling or feeling overwhelmed, you can always lean on me. I love you forever and always, my dear son.
Love,
[Your title]
2.
Dear [son’s name],
How I wish I could take you in my arms and tell you stories that would help to teach you right from wrong, just as I did when you were little.
I recognize that you’re a [young man/man] now, and you’re going to make your own decisions. I’m immensely proud of you, my son, though I’m worried about the choices you’ve been making and where they may lead you.
[Express your concerns about potential consequences here.]
I want you to know that I believe in you and the incredible [young man/man] you are. You’ve been blessed with so many strengths, talents, and great potential. You are capable of so much more than you realize.
As you move forward, surround yourself with positive influences and people who bring out the best in you. Seek out mentors and friends who can offer guidance and support.
Never forget that you have the power to change the course of your life and make better decisions. Trust your instincts, listen to your heart, and don’t be afraid to come to me with anything that’s on your mind.
I believe in you, my precious son, and I’m always cheering you on at the sidelines.
With all my love and faith in you,
[Your title]
3.
My darling son [son’s name],
First, I want you to know I love you deeply and unconditionally. As a parent, it’s my responsibility to speak up and try to prevent you from making choices that will have negative consequences.
I know life can be hard, and we all make mistakes along the way. However, I’m worried about some of your recent decisions. [Mention these decisions here, if desired.]
You’re such an amazing son with endless potential, but I’m afraid these choices could lead you down a difficult path.
I want you to know you can always talk to me about anything. I’m more than happy to face your struggles with you and do whatever I can to help you make positive changes that will lead to a brighter and happier future.
We all stumble at times, but it’s never too late to get back on track. Together, we can work through these challenges, and I promise to support you every step of the way.
Take care of yourself, [son’s name], and remember that I love you beyond measure.
With love and concern,
[Your title]
4.
Dear [son’s name],
This letter is written and meant to be received with my tremendous love and concern for you. I’m worried about the choices you’ve made recently and the potential harm they could do to your future.
[Provide specific examples here, if desired.]
I know this is your life, and you have the right to make your own decisions. However, as a parent, I simply can’t ignore things that could hurt you in the long run.
Remember, it’s never too late to change the course of your actions.
I only want to see you happy, healthy, and successful in life. I love you dearly and always want what’s best for you.
With much love,
[Your title]
5.
My beloved son,
I was sad to hear of some of the challenges you’re facing. I know you don’t want to hear this, but I’m afraid the choices you’ve made recently are what led to this hardship.
I wish with all my heart I could protect you from every bad thing in this world, but I can only offer my love and a [mother’s/father’s] advice. [Provide loving advice specific to your son’s circumstances here.]
I love you more than you could ever imagine, and I’m always here for you.
Love,
[Your title]
6.
Dear [Son’s name],
I’m happy to be writing to you, though my heart is heavy with concern. I want you to know I love you more than words can express, and I know the person you can become.
Lately, I’ve noticed you making choices that worry me. I know growing up and navigating life can be difficult, but it’s crucial for you to remember that your decisions have real consequences.
You have so much potential, and I just want to see you thrive. Please take the time to consider your actions and the direction you want to go in life. You’re capable of doing great things!
Remember that you’re never alone and that there are people who care about you deeply. Please don’t hesitate to ask anytime you need someone to talk to or if you need help getting through life’s challenges.
I believe in you, [son’s name], and I know that you can make positive changes in your life. Take it one step at a time, and don’t forget that I’m always here for you.
With all my love and support,
[Your title]
7.
[Son’s name],
I just want to let you know I’m here to love and support you, no matter what. I may not always understand what you’re going through, but my love and support for you are unconditional.
I’m worried about [express your concerns here].
I know you’re old enough to make your own decisions. I just don’t want [express possible consequences here].
Life is filled with opportunities for growth and learning. I hope you’ll embrace them with a sense of responsibility and awareness of the impact your choices can have on your future.
You’re such a wonderful son! I only want the best for you — a life filled with love, success, and happiness.
Call or drop by any time. You know my door and heart are always open to you.
Love,
[Your title]
How to Write Your Own Letter to Your Son
Writing a letter to a son who’s making bad choices can be an emotional task.
Keep the purpose of your letter in mind when writing, and make sure it will be a source of comfort and reassurance — not just criticism.
Find more tips for writing your own letter below.
- Keep the tone non-judgemental. Be careful not to sound judgemental or critical in your letter, as this sets a negative tone and likely won’t be well received. Instead, write with sensitivity and understanding. Let him know everyone makes mistakes and how we learn from them.
- Make sure your message of concern is clear. If you’re aware of specific poor choices your son is making, consider gently acknowledging them without dwelling on the negative aspects. Focus instead on your concern for the possible consequences and the potential for positive change.
- Share personal experiences. If you or someone close to you has ever been in your son’s shoes, share these experiences so he knows he’s not alone. You could also share the good things that came to you or someone else when they turned things around.
- Close your letter with love and reassurance. Make sure your son knows you wrote the letter with love and the best of intentions. Let him know you’re there for him no matter what and that he can reach out to you for help.
